I have take my first (thousand) steps into insanity.
But either way, insane I am. Minus the mathematical genius which accompanies insanity in Proof.
Life has been a failure.
I foresee in the not-so-distant future a life (or lack thereof) as a cadaver.
Successive failures. One after the other. And now I am merely repeating myself in different ways. Too far gone. Too little left.
Well.
Not like I make a difference to the world anyway.
What am I but a temporary existence?
Does it matter? Do I even matter?
Never has it felt so laborious to simply keep living.
I am weary. Sick and weary. My life is my life after all. I have the right to end it. Don't I? The law may take away that right, but they cannot stop me.
If only...
and back to allowing a ceasing flow to obscure my vision; back to where I came from...
have i lost what i never had? or was it never mine?
they say you wont miss what you never had
they say you only miss something once you lose it
what am i missing?
what have i missed?
what IS missing?
lost.
everything.
its like the air around me is turning to water
breaths come short and painful
that constricting feeling
*looks out of the window*
i'm tempted.
to end it once and for all...
the first of my random goals seems harder and harder to achieve...
they say stupidity kills they say ignorance is costly
i am probably the epitomy of an abundance of both.
for once the message which ends every post in this blog might be true.
