Being sane enough to notice that you're insane- is that a good thing, or what?
Able to recognize the absurdity of my own thoughts - that realizing that my reaction to disappointment is abnormal - and yet unable to stop myself.
To think that whenever I feel disappointed, it is only because I have not been pessimistic enough. Because I have not set my expectations low enough. Because I did not think the worst would happen. And thus to think the solution as that of being even more pessimistic.
I mean, some pessimism is always good. But somehow I end up as an extreme pessimist. Every disappointment reinforces this. And I recognize how illogical it is. And yet I cant stop it.
Blah. My thoughts are so convoluted I can't even think them out without getting a headache, let alone putting them in words. I very much doubt anyone will understand what I just typed anyway. Assuming, of course, that anyone reads my posts at all. Evidence would indicate that people do, but there is always the chance that people don't, and extreme pessimism would lead me to conclude that no one reads it. Not that it matters.
