"The secret of happiness in not in what one likes to do, but in what one has to do."
And thus having concluded that nobody will ever understand I shall continue to seek my place my happiness my security somewhere out there...
but first what is wrong with me? i cannot understand yet only i should be able to understand
troubled am i i am troubled yet
there is nothing i can do but blab about it useless all talk no show whats left of me?
parallel universes multi world what would happen if i were to live my life again
where have i deviated from the normal path?
what is there left of my existence? what am i seeking? where is my goal? where is my motivation?
what is left of me...
shreds... torn.
my mind is torn. i should be mugging now. should be. should have started. when i woke up. 14 hours ago. havent started. i hate myself. i loathe myself. and yet i cant do anything about it. a vicious cycle. i hate myself for not doing anything. and this hate. ...
questions i can ask. answers i cannot find. my life is meaningless. for after all. what can humans do?
we research more we dont find solutions. we just realise how much more convoluted the world is. the more you know the less you want to know. and yet the more you will know. it is inevitable. this chain of suffering. this chain of carnage.
it is better to be ignorant. so much more better. was it a sin? to take that first bite. to be conscious to know about the world to see things as they are
yet, as we see things; nothing is as it seems we only perceive what we think we perceive everything is objective
how do you know yellow is yellow how do you know blue is blue what you see as yellow others may see as blue just that you both call it the same
our life is like algebra we can only identify by substitution substitute in something of similar value and by that we identify along the same lines
money. isnt it the same? a token. representation
what is the one true self? what is the meaning of all this? more questions i ask. less answers i know. less answers i want to know.
yet why do i ask these questions if i dont want to know the answers?
