Orientation is kinda fun. Although its kinda sad that its no longer by og grouping, and now in CT. At least I have Ning Yu with me in my CT. Missing my OG already =(. Orientation, is, for me, both bloody sian and fun at the same time - at times I just fall asleep, other times I'm dam high. With absolutely no go-between during personality swaps.

On a more serious note, today I shall blog about random stuff again. I've been thinking for a long time, and more or less I think the skill that separates people is the skill to derive a conclusion, the skill to infer from given information; the skill to draw out hidden meanings logically by analyzing the evidence.

Sir Arthur Conan Dyle's works, Sherlock Holmes, present this to us in a very evident fashion - Sherlock Holme's methods are fully logical when you stop to consider them, assuming that the premises in which they hold forth are true and that one has had prior knowledge to the facts. However, when the sequence of thought is not presented, what he deduces is not unlike magic.

In real life, this skill has many applications. For gaming, it greatly affects the learning curve. Lets say we have a puzzle, with given items A and B. A person whom possesses this skill in high quantities would be able to derive the solution from the given items rather quickly assuming the solution was logical, whereas those less gifted with this skill would be unable to solve the puzzle, and eventually result to trial-and-error and/or guides. In skill-based strategy games like Chess, Chinese Chess, Wei Qi, and even DoTA, the learning curve, and level one can attain within a limited time is largely affected by this factor.

This also carries on to studies. Literature, especially, in my opinion, makes full use of this skill, since it judges by one's ability to interpret information from given texts and make their own evaluations. Many people are given the same text - their difference in scores is explained by the difference in their capabalities in said skill, since some people are able to interpret information and evaluate/conclude stuff from them better.

Financial advisors largely do the same too, do they not? They spectulate on future economical changes based on current and prior knowledge, in short evaluating the data they possess and making an educated guess on the near future.

/end random rant

Now I shall blog about myself. Bleh.

I realised that I'm freaking lazy. Lazy to the extent that, in 16 years of life, I more or less haven't actually studied for anything seriously. That is, unless you consider last day-work studying. The problem with me is that I've only done things that I've liked or found an interest in.

Stuff like reading has been with me all my life. As I grew, I also got addicted to Origami, Sewing, Weaving, Jigsaw Puzzle-solving (the 2000 pieces variations), Basketball, Soccer, Table-tennis, Badminton, Beyblades, Crafting, etc, with computer gaming being one of the last on the list. Along the way, I've learnt enough about most of these topics to become an authority on the subject - for example, I can explain all the physics behind table-tennis, all the various styles, advantages and disadvantages of the various grips, the history of the bat, etc. Having spent at least 2-3 hours a day on these addictions when they were part of my life, I learnt a great deal about them.

However, I wish the same could be said for my studies. As I said, I can only find motivation to perform in something which arouses my interest. Hardly has studies ever brought me joy, and I made it to J1 from pure intellect alone, having studied almost nothing at home in my life. Ocasionally I would try to memorise stupid equations for a re-test, and barely scrape through to get to the next year.

I guess I haven't matured enough yet to accept learning as it is. When it comes to a topic of my interest I can easily write a paper on it thousands of words long in a few hours; such was my HRP on 武侠小说, or even my DoTA guide. However, when it comes to studies, my minds switches off - ocasionally topics in Mathematics, for example, would arouse my interest, and I would score immensely well for that particular topic (usually in the 80-95% range), and flop again back to 30% for the next topic because I hate it.

When I learn, I overly prefer to understand all the basic and underlying concepts behind a given equation, formula or algorithm. Hence it comes as no surprise to me when I suck at Chemistry, especially because most of it comes from memorisation. Topics which include remembering and applying formulas are not a problem for me because I understand the underlying basis for the equations, however stuff like colour etc I will screw up. ...

God I really need to eat less. I'm getting fat and spending alot on food recently...

My personality is really screwed. I alternate between high and emo too often; I'm trying to wonder what's the problem causing my moodswings.

Crap I hope I have a good life this year.

Oh yeah, I have a problem with authority. My problem lies not with breaking rules or laws; these are petty in my opinion. What I DO have a problem with, however, is in the smaller incidents of life which always get overlooked - I can NEVER stand being wrong when I'm right. This has caused troubles for me for the whole of my life; everytime a teacher wronged me I would always try to argue back to explain that I was right, and countless times it ended up with me in the teacher's office for "rudeness". 

My problem is that adults often abuse their authority when they deal with "lesser" people. Take my father for example, when he asks me to do some things, he has absolutely no ability to justify it, and no means to out-argue me. In the end it will become inevitable that he abuses his authority by saying "because I am the father you will have to listen to me", and I will have no choice but to bend to his will. Such is my life. Say, for example, when my father thinks that computers are evil because they ruin lives (like mine for instance), and I argue that it is not the computer, since computers are neutral; they can be both used for bad or good, not unlike a gun, which while is used for killing, power lies in the intent of the user; it is ultimately the user which kills the target, not the gun, with the gun being merely a means to acheive the goal. However my father, being the not-so-educated person he is, will cut off my explanation, understanding nothing, and insist that its the computer's fault despite my lengthy explanations that the computer is not at fault, the person using it is. Such is an example of a common argument between me and my parents, or in the past, between me and my teachers.

...

To some I may appear cheery and optimistic, but I'm always worried. Worried about my life, my future, my family, those around me. I never stop thinking, even when I appear to be irresponsible and living for the moment, speaking the first thing that comes to my mind disregarding the consequences. In other words I'm never really happy except when I stop thinking... which doesnt happen even when I'm asleep. Its also the reason why I've been constantly seeking entertainment; only when I lose myself in such activities is my chain of thoughts put at rest. Once I stop doing anything engaging, however, they return to haunt me.

And to you, reader, I don't blame you if you think I'm weird. After all, I am just a weird guy throwing out what he thinks and typing random stuff when he feels like it. At 122 words per minute.